Wait For It
by Aerial312
Summary: An unexpected moment of peace makes Leia think about what she lost, and what it means for the fight ahead. Set between ANH and ESB, about 1 ABY.


 _Death doesn't discriminate_ _  
_ _Between the sinners and the saints,_ _  
_ _it takes and it takes and it takes_ _  
_ _and we keep living anyway._ _  
_ _We rise and we fall_ _  
_ _and we break_ _  
_ _and we make our mistakes._ _  
_ _And if there's a reason I'm still alive_ _  
_ _when everyone who loves me has died_ _  
_ _I'm willing to wait for it._

 _-Aaron Burr, "Wait for It",_ _Hamilton_

.

A gentle breeze came across the mountain lake. As far as one could see, the vibrant blue lake met the lush verdant green mountains. Leia stood on a large, flat rock. It protruded from the lake's shore several feet, so at its furthest point, the water looked to be about knee deep. It was crystal clear. Every rock, plant, and little fish was visible. The place reminded her of a spot that they had visited on holiday when she was a child on Alderaan. So peaceful.

Emergency repairs had landed them here on this beautiful planet. It was the closest place where Han knew they'd be safe to do the work they needed to do. Takodana was known for its neutrality, so there was very little chance of a visit from the Empire. It was, however, favored by those on the edge of the law—which explained how her smuggler escort was well acquainted with it.

Leia bent over, and pulled her boots from her feet, then pulling off her socks and placing them inside. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been barefoot outside somewhere. Years. She dipped her foot in the water. It was warmer than she expected.

Leia sat on the edge of the rock, rolling her pants up to her knees, before lowering her legs to hang in the water. It was the most frivolous thing she'd done in a very long time, but she couldn't resist. There was nothing she could do for them on the Falcon right now. The basic mechanical skills she'd picked up over the years were often useful, but this repair was well beyond her skill level.

Staying up by the ship was just irritating. Leia didn't quite understand all that was wrong. Han was trying to work on it while fielding her questions, and Chewbacca was just getting fed up with their bickering. He finally suggested she take a walk for a little while. That's what C-3PO told her at least. She expected it had been a bit more colorful than that.

The planet's sun was just starting to dip below the mountains in the distance. The sky was turning a vivid fuschia. Would this kind of piece ever be a part of her daily life again? Certainly not any time in the near future.

Footsteps behind her pulled her out of her reverie. Leia whipped her head around—her senses were always on edge these days. He looked weary, as he scanned the shore, his gaze softening a little—maybe?—when it landed on her. He as hard to read sometimes. She was never sure is she was reading things into his expressions because she wanted to see them—and even less sure _why_ she wanted to see them.

He trudged down the hill and sat beside her. "We're not getting out of here tonight," he sighed. "No hangar here, and it's getting too dark to see. It's pretty detailed work…" He stretched his legs out in front of him with a groan. The last time she'd seen him before she came down to the lake, he'd been crouched deep within a mechanical compartment. He closed his eyes as he leaned back on his elbows. "Time to head up to the Cantina and get some food."

"Oh." Leia wasn't keen to leave this serene spot just yet. "I'll catch up to you guys."

"Unh uh," Han shook his head, "I'm not leaving you our here alone."

"I thought you said it was one of the safest places we could be?"

"It is," he insisted. "No Empire presence, but there are still plenty of unsavory characters—"

"You know I can take care of myself."

Han rubbed his eyes tiredly. "You can," he told her, "But I still need to look out for you."

She sighed. He was right. He would always look out for her.

After a moment he added, "It's my job here, you know."

"Right, that's why," she snorted. Was that really the only reason he looked out for her? She didn't think so.

Han was freed from replying to her remark by Chewbacca barking out an impatient query from up the hill by the ship.

"Go ahead!" he called out. "Maz likes you better anyways. We're going to stay down here a little while longer."

Chewie snorted a reply to that that had Han rolls his eyes and chuckle.

Leia cocked an eyebrow at him. "What was that?" she asked.

"You don't want to know," Han laughed. He raked his hand through his hair. "Chewie has a dirty mind."

"I see." Leia tried to sound stern, but failed miserably to hide her amusement. "Just a few more minutes," she told him.

He nodded. Now that he'd sent Chewbacca ahead, he didn't seem to be in a rush. A streak of grease sat right below his eye, and before she really thought about what she was doing, Leia dipped her hand into the lake and reached out for him, wiping the smear from his cheek. Han blinked in surprise. "Grease," Leia told him nonchalantly, as sherinsed her fingers in the lake. For as much time as they spent together, they didn't touch often.

Han dried his cheek with the sleeve of his shirt, and studied her for a moment. "Thanks."

Leia nodded and looked off toward the sun. It was almost gone now, and dropping rapidly. The sky was just wisps of clouds, in a pale pink.

"I don't think I've ever seen you this calm," he told her.

"We are going to get out of here tomorrow, right?"

Han chuckled. "Can't have too much peace?"

"This is nice," Leia admitted, swishing her feet through the water. "But it's not real life. Not anymore."

Always more perceptive than she might like, Han caught the change in her tone at the end of the sentence. He asked, "Did you have spots like this on Alderaan?"

She nodded. "My parents used to take me on trips to a spot like this." Han didn't say anything, waiting for her to continue. "Our mountains were taller though, a lot taller. Covered in snow. So the water was cold—not warm like there. We used to…" Her voice caught in her throat as she thought of the hikes that she used to take with her father through those mountains along the lake. Leia turned away from him, pulling her feet out of the water and crossing them beneath her.

"Hey."

Leia flinched as his hands landed on her shoulders, but he didn't take them away and she didn't make him. She took a deep breath. "It's why I can't relax. Not until we defeat—" she swallowed hard. He'd seen her break down about this before, a few times. He was probably the only one who had. It was perhaps the biggest way she'd shown she trusted him…but she still didn't like to do it.

He kneaded her shoulders softly. For a moment, she let that comfort her—because it did comfort her—before turning her attention to her socks, pulling the cotton garments over her damp feet. She tugged the boots on top.

"Leia…"

She turned to face him, biting her lip. He only used her first name when he was being serious, usually it was one of his pet title nicknames for her. "It's my fault they're gone. I have to—" She had to turn away again. They'd had this conversation before. He'd try to convince her not to blame herself. She'd argue.

This time though, he wrapped his arm around her, and she let herself collapse against him, curling into his embrace. "I miss them so much…"

"I know, sweetheart, I know," He murmured into her hair.

She was going to regret this later, showing him this much weakness, but right now Leia took refuge in the fact that maybe there was still someone who really did care.


End file.
